Moving

I know they say you can't go home again. 

I just had to come back one last time.

- Miranda Lambert

Who says you can't go home? 

There's only one place they call me one of their own.

- Bon Jovi

To be frank, this week was quite exhausting.

I spent the better part of it on call for work. Being a therapist who works primarily out of the emergency room and urgent care, being on call typically means I only get called in if there's a patient who is either suicidal or homicidal, and the ER staff isn't quite sure how to field the problem.

Thankfully, most cases like this are pretty straight forward - someone comes in in distress and the ER staff (honestly amazing people) help them find a hospital bed where they can begin working with a counselor and psychiatrist to address whatever the problem may be.

This week, there were a handful of cases that walked through the door that however, weren't straight forward - and I ended up getting called in.

...and while we still don't know everything about mental illness, my 9 years in the field have taught me that if you're on call, you're more likely to get called in once the sun goes down.


I very quickly regretted taking so many on call shifts this week. I had taken Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. When I hadn't gotten called in by Friday, I made the mistake of considering myself lucky.

I was at the hospital from midnight until 2 that night. Then again at 10 the next morning to sign some paperwork - and again at 5 that afternoon.


Never consider yourself lucky when you work in a hospital.








Either way, between the ER staff and me, we got the patients that needed help taken care of, and I was able to mow the yard and take care of a couple of other things around the house I meant to do (namely, finished 2 pages on the Cherokee children's book) before Sunday hit - because Sunday, I was headed to go to Bartlesville to help my parents move to their new home in Sand Springs.

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Have you ever heard a turtle having sex?

It's honestly one of the strangest, most adorable sounds you'll ever hear.

If you haven't, let me enlighten you:

I mention that because apparently, it's turtle mating season. They were on the road EVERYWHERE as I made my way to Bartlesville. Every time turtle mating season hits, I can't help but think that every cute little turtle I see making their slow trek across a busy road is in a relative hurry to get somewhere to make this sound. 

Nature is magical. 

I ended up stopping to take a picture of this guy because he was the biggest non-snapping turtle I'd ever seen in the wild.








When I finally got to Bartlesville, I was happy to see that about half of the large things that needed to be moved had already been moved.

My little brother Adam had gone down on Saturday and helped with the first gigantic load.

We worked for the better part of the day getting things boxed up, hauled out, and neatly stacked in the rented truck that my parents had - which, moving with my engineer step dad was an experience in itself as our versions of loading a U-Haul truck were very different.

I'll give you one guess as to whose version took longer and was more strategic.







Towards the end of the day we actually made the trip - my parents in the truck with their two dogs, and me in my car with Jack, the cat.

Now, I'm not one to believe in conspiracies, but when they were able to fit two dogs in the truck with them, but offered that I take the cat - I should have known something was up.

That cat bitched the whole way.

The. Whole. Way.

I mean honestly, it was like riding with banshee. I talked to him. I patted the crate. I took slow turns, and tried to drive as smoothly as my car would let me. 

At one point, I even tried to sing to him - I think because I spent too much time around Disney princesses last week. 

He wasn't having any of it. 

He didn't want to be in the crate. He didn't want to be in the car. 

...and he was going to make it known. 

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I was thankful that I got there before Adam had to head back to his home in Topeka. Apparently his fiance's work had a dinner that he needed to go to that evening, but I still got to see him and he was able to stay around long enough to help us load some stuff, and then to join us for lunch at Simple Simons.








I miss that kid, I truly do.


I thought about that a lot this weekend, mostly while I was in Bartlesville helping box up my mom's house. Family really is a funny, hard to define thing when you think about it.









Ordinarily, you start your life off with people that you grow accustomed to. These are the people you learn to socialize with, you learn to love, and the people you use as a point of reference for most other relationships in your life.

But what happens when things change?





Growing up in a blended family has always made it tough to describe my "family". I've had siblings at times, been an only child at times, and acquired new siblings as an adult. The home I grew up in went away. Most of the people I grew up with did the same.


Even now, I'm married and raising two children whose births I wasn't present for.





But still, I've never felt like I didn't belong somewhere.

I've never felt like I didn't have a "family".

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So then, what does that word really mean? How can you describe "home"?










For me, it's less about the definition and more about the feeling you get when you're around someone. It's about the connection you feel to a person, and the capacity to which you want them to be in your life.









When I call my step dad for advice, I don't feel like I'm asking a friend. I feel like I'm asking a father.


When I spend time with my kids, I don't feel like I'm watching another man's children. I feel like I'm with my guys. Two of the few people in this world that I'd die for if it meant keeping them safe.

Family isn't about someone having your last name, or living under the same roof as you. Sure, that can be part of it - and often times, it can make it easier to build a relationship or find things you have in common - but it's not crucial.





It's about knowing someone, but still wanting them around. Letting them see you when you're hurt or scared, and not feeling vulnerable. It's about loving someone and putting them before you when it counts.

It's a few of the people I grew up with and a few of the people I've met along the way. It's the woman I married and those that came with her. It's my friends, my coworkers, and even a few of my neighbors.


To me, that's family - and my family is huge.

Disney World

*This blog is most likely going to run long for sheer volume of things I want to document. If you're looking for a short version of our trip, check out the facebook page for our photos to get an idea of how we spent our week.


You know that old joke, "I just flew in from ____, and boy are my arms tired!"? Right now, I can totally relate.








We got back from Florida late Saturday night (technically Sunday morning), and I've been in recovery mode ever since. Exhausted, slightly toasted - with sore feet and an aching back. But, as it turns out, the well of sympathy is pretty much dry when you ask for pity after spending a week in Florida.








Nevertheless, vacation is over - and it's time to get back to the normal swing of things.

But first, let me tell you about our trip. I tried to take pictures when I remembered - and I'm inevitably going to forget or leave something out, but here's the gist of our last week:



A week ago, we woke up at 3 on Saturday morning and headed to Tulsa.




Unfortunately, we started our trip by finding out that our house (well, really our garage) had been egged - and I couldn't help but think that with our being up so early, we probably didn't miss the culprits by very long.

That would have been interesting, walking out of the house with suitcases in hand only to find some teenagers chucking eggs at our house.




Either way though, when you're headed to Disney World, very few things can break your good mood. This wasn't one of those things.

Our flight went smoothly for the most part, however we did hit a bad spot of turbulence each way. I'd never flown with the kids before, so it was a bit of an experience watching them react to scary flying weather. On the second flight though, the Delta plane we flew on had screens in the back of every seat with a huge selection of movies and games to watch or play. Genius.



We ended up getting to Florida early that afternoon and were bussed immediately to the hotel where our luggage would soon join us. My step dad Warren, who planned the trip, wanted to get in as much Disney time as possible - so that meant hitting the ground running.






But that being said, I have to point out how cool it was to have a Pirate Room. I may be biased, but a ship bed is by far cooler than a race car bed.







We spent our first half-day there at Epcot, and let the kids get their feet wet a little, opening them up to the experience in front of them.

I think one thing we hadn't accounted for however, was just how BIG everything is there.

Remember when you were a kid, and you were excited about something? You'd look forward to it for weeks and then when the day came you'd be mostly prepared for the thing you were excited about. With Disney World, that's pretty difficult to do.

The kids had a hard time deciding what they wanted to do first because surprisingly, "All of the things" isn't easy to coordinate all at once.

Thankfully though, we have great kids and for the most part this week they were able to agree on close to everything, so everyone ended up getting to do what they wanted to do.



After our first half day at Epcot, we retired to the hotel - already exhausted. However, while our room had two full sized beds, Jade decided that she didn't want to share a bed with Jaxon because "He kicks!"

... and so began her nightly ritual of making a cot on the floor because sharing a bed with her brother was way worse than sleeping on the ground.







The room was super though, and we found ways to live together in close quarters for the entirety of our stay there. While Jaxon spent most of his free time there watching Hulu on his phone - Jade fell in love with the magnifying mirror in our bathroom. She ended up putting on multiple shows for an audience of herself in this mirror.

I'm thinking it would make for a good birthday present in the not too distant future.






Also, funny moment from the week: Our bathroom had one of these in it.

Have you ever seen one of these in the shower of your hotel room. I just assumed that everyone knew it was a clothesline that you could put towels/swimsuits on during the day. There was no part of me that thought it would be a mystery to any of my traveling companions. 

Shelly and wanted to know why we had a bell in the shower. 

I was more interested in who they thought would answer a bell in the shower if they runt it...

Day two was Hollywood studios. Basically, everything there is related to the movie side of Disney. The rides and shows are all based on things we had seen time and again - and that made for some really exciting experiences.

While I was hoping to see Marvel represented there a bit more, the nerd in me was still excited at just how much Star Wars there was. I mean, it was everywhere. From the merchandise in the stores to the hourly storm trooper marches that took place down the middle of the park - it was awesome.








I did realize while there however that I've not done my job as a father and a husband when I realized that none of the people I live with have seen Indiana Jones. We went to a stage show there, and while the kids and Shelly loved what they saw - most of it was lost on them because it all correlated to scenes from the first movie.

I mean honestly, the kids I can get. I just haven't shown them the movie.

...but Shelly? You honestly wouldn't believe how many "classic" movies she hasn't seen.

It's overwhelming.







Day three had us at the Animal Kingdom. While there, we went on the safari where I spent more time watching Shelly get excited about how close we got to certain animals than I did looking at the animals themselves.






I'll tell you, if you go to Disney World - get the meal plan.

We started the trip by getting these super hero style wrist bands, each personalized with our favorite color and name - and those wristbands are your key to everything. Literally, you just put your hand up to the hotel door and it opens if you're wearing one.

On the meal plan, you get so many snacks, so many quick meals (fast food type services), and so many dining credits (where you have a waiter and a table).

I say all of that to say that while the food at all of the parks was great, the snacks at the Animal Kingdom were amazing. I got loaded french fries with tzatziki sauce, lettuce, and tomatoes - and I've been thinking about them ever since.

Every day we would use our snack and quick meal credits throughout the parks whenever we got hungry - and most nights we'd use a dining credit at a nice sit-down type of place. I honestly think if we hadn't been walking over 15 thousand steps a day while sweating like maniacs - I would have put on 5-10 pounds.

That night, we went to Disney Springs - a downtown type shopping center with stores and restaurants. The kids got to see their first street performers, and we ate at a restaurant covered in dinosaurs.

(The Hulk is not a street performer. He was just a display at the Lego store that I got excited about - clearly more excited than Jaxon)

Day four we went back to Epcot to spend an entire day there. Sincerely, that park is something to experience. While the front half is more futuristic and sci-fi oriented, the back half is separated into various countries where you can meet workers, see entertainment, and eat food from different parts of the world. I mean, it's not the same as actually going to these places, but for someone who wants to get a super condensed idea of what a country may be like - it gives you a pretty good sense.

... it's also a good place to get thousands of steps into your day. We walked, walked, and walked some more - at one point, we actually watched a show about the history of the United States (eagerly) just because the auditorium had air conditioning.


That evening, we had dinner at a restaurant with a Princess Parade, where the girls got to meet their favorite Disney Princesses.








Watching Shelly meet Belle may be the highlight of my trip.








Most evenings, we opted to stay at the park until nearly closing time - but a few days we went back to the hotel so the kids could swim. The resort we stayed at had a pool for every major block of rooms with one major pool area in the very middle. The pools near our rooms were big but basic - and the middle pool area had slides, a bar, and various entertainment throughout the day.








I think that at least at one point throughout the week, everyone wanted to swim. Something about high temperatures plus humidity really brings out the swimming pool enthusiast in everyone.











This was also where Jade learned that when there weren't many kids around, she could use as many complimentary life jackets as she wanted - turning herself into what I can only describe as a living buoy.

You might not be able to tell from the picture, but she's wearing three life vests here. Two on the top, and one on her bottom - upside down - like a floating diaper.

She looked like a very low budget aquatic Iron Man.








On day five we spent our first day at the Magic Kingdom, where everyone becomes a child.





I mean honestly, walking through the front gate, seeing the gigantic castle in the center of the park just gives a sense of awe. Add to that the fact that throughout the entire place, characters from our childhood were walking around, posing with kids and adults alike - and it becomes a very magical place indeed.


At some point during the week, the kids bought an autograph book and began collecting signatures from the characters they met. I have to say, I was quite impressed in how each character had their own unique (personality fitting) signature, and also with the ease in which they knocked these things out while still making each kid feel important.





Days six and seven were catch-up days. On day six, we went back to Hollywood Studios to take part in the things we had missed on our first time through - and on Day seven, we went back to the Magic Kingdom.






At Hollywood Studios, we met some of our favorite Star Wars characters and competed in a Toy Story themed shooting ride - and at the Magic Kingdom, we endured our rainiest day there to ride Splash Mountain and the Dwarves roller coaster from Snow White.

(the Jawas will actually trade with you if you can give them a trinket they're interested in...)

All in all, it was an amazing week - and one that I can't do justice by writing about it here. We all came back beat, tanned, and worn smooth out - but in this instance, it was a good thing.

Our flight back was a bit scary due to inclement weather - and we didn't get home until SUPER late on Saturday night - but we made it.







Now, we pick ourselves back up and get back to the usual schedule. Make sure you check out the facebook page for our photos from the week. I took a ton!


For now, that's all I've got. I'm going to go take a nap.


I work tomorrow.

(Seriously... we walked A LOT this week.)

Pranks and Parenting

You know what? 

This week was a pretty eventful week. 

I finished the supervision training in Tulsa that I started last week, got some yard work done, finished two pages on the Cherokee book that I'm working on  - AND went to two nights of jiu jitsu classes. 

...and also managed to work in at least an hour (cumulative) of whining due to the soreness from the last activity mentioned.

It's a bittersweet thing, really. 

These last couple months, taking BJJ and Krav Maga classes have been eye opening. I've learned a lot about myself, eaten a lot of humble pie, and found muscles long forgotten. I've been sore in one part of my body or another the entire time - and for the most part - I've loved every second of it. 

Sadly though, the teacher I've been working with leaves this week for Arizona. 

Don't get me wrong, it's going to be amazing for him. Apparently he and his brother (my friend from work who introduced us) are going to be opening a gym there - and they'll both have the majority of their family very close. It's going to be the best of both worlds for them there. 

I'm just going to miss them all. 

Going to classes in Dr. Echeverria's house with just his brother, nephew, daughter, and son - I've begun to feel like a part of the family there. I've spent a good deal of time working on my Spanish (as the teacher and his son don't speak English) - and I've gotten to know them all very well. 

Is this what happens when you exercise or do sports with people? You bond? 

I legitimately never knew. 

I asked E, my friend, what I could do to thank his brother for all the one on one time he's spent with me for the last couple of months (because I looked it up, and one on one lessons with a black belt are quite pricy). Instead of paying his brother, he told me that the best thing I could do would be to buy some children's outfits so he could send them back to his old school in Venezuela. 

Seriously, everyone in that house is amazing - but there's just something about seeing someone who could understandably be cocky turn out to be so selfless. 

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When they leave, I'm not entirely sure what my plan will be. Unfortunately the closest jiu jitsu gym is 30 minutes away in Muskogee and I really just don't see myself driving that far multiple evenings a week. 

I do know that I need to find something to keep this momentum going, though. In this short time I've seen a positive change in my own endurance, and I definitely feel stronger. I don't want that to be for nothing.

I've even been doing extra-curricular ab exercises at home.












Though Jade, of course, has shown me up at every turn.


I mean seriously, the girl isn't human.

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Like I said, Friday I went back to Tulsa to finish the LPC supervision training I started last week. After I send my certificate and application in this week, I'll officially be a LPC supervisor - able to supervise those going after their license.

It's going to be a pretty awesome (if not slightly terrifying) experience, I think. The positive side is that you get to help up and coming counselors learn what they need to do be an asset to the field. The negative side is that while you're supervising them, they're operating under your license - so you have to make sure to only take on people you trust professionally - and I'm sure there's still some small amount of finger crossing that takes place.

Also, while I was gone on Friday (I'm willing to bet thanks in part to this blog), my newest out of office sign didn't go unnoticed.

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This weekend, the kids spent the entire weekend at their dad's.

We fly out next Saturday for Florida (expect a whole Disney-themed blog post following our return) and whenever we're gone for times he would normally have them, he keeps them the whole weekend beforehand.

With the house to ourselves, I finished working on the flower bed and got all the mowing/edging done that I'd put off to the weekend while Shelly cleaned and did things inside.

Saturday night, we went on the first date we had been on for months, and after dinner out, went to see Guardians of the Galaxy.


I have to admit, I was super impressed.

I laughed until I cried on more than one occasion, and it was nice to see a movie that I hadn't had the entire plot spoiled through trailers.

No, it's not high brow entertainment, but it was endearing - and for a comic fan, it was pure eye candy.

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This weekend, I also placed an "Evil-Tron" in Jaxon's bedroom.

Not sure what an "Evil-Tron" is? Let me educate you.

An Evil-Tron is a small, circular device that plays five different creepy sounds. One sounds like a door shutting, one is a small child laughing, one is a man's voice that says "Are you there?".






And the best thing about it (other than it being small) is that once you've selected the sound you want it to play - it does so at varying intervals. It might do it in 30 minutes. It might do it in 3 hours - making it nearly impossible to track down.







In our house, we like to prank each other. A lot.

It's not out of the ordinary to hear screams throughout the house at all hours of the day/night. From hiding and startling each other to making fake poop and leaving it in conspicuous places - we really enjoy bugging one another.

Lately however, Jaxon has been taking more than his fair turn. He's begun hiding and scaring his mom nearly every night around the time she goes to tell them to get in bed.








In addition to this, the kid who was once too scared to watch Goosebumps on Netflix has decided that he LOVES horror movies - and speaks openly about how no movie is too scary. Challenging us to try to best him at picking one that will leave him unsettled.


The thing about Jaxon though, is that he has the best "scared" face. When he's startled, he loses all sense of cool - and after all he's gotten his mom lately - it was time for a little comeuppance.






So, when I read about the Evil-Tron on reddit, it just seemed too perfect.

I'll keep you updated.

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When the kids came back this morning, we learned that Jaxon had bought himself a switchblade at a flea market he went to with his dad.

After googling whether they were legal or not (they are, apparently - I honestly had no idea) I set in on the usual "This is NOT a toy..." conversation that often follows Jaxon's impulse purchases.


Being a step parent is a really challenging position to hold. I've been cautious to remember my place when it came to disciplining the kids because I don't want to overstep my bounds. On the flip side though, I've tried to take a highly active role in the teaching/parenting department.

I know that occasionally the kids' dad and I will differ in our opinion of what's right for the kids and what isn't - but sometimes it's a bit disheartening to always be the boring "too safe" parent.

Life isn't easy no matter the role you play, I suppose.

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Next weekend we leave bright and early Saturday morning for Florida. We're going with my parents to Disney World for a week - so, while there will most likely not be a blog next Sunday - there will be one with enough fun experiences to make up for it the week after.

Also, make sure you've 'liked' the blog's facebook page for updates throughout the week and fun, random thoughts from the family on occasion.


So, for now, that's it. I feel like I've jumped around and talked a little about a lot of things without actually saying anything of value. I think that's what a blog is for, though.

Tomorrow we go out for dinner with Shelly's parents for her birthday (which takes place during our vacation). I'm going to go prep lunches for the week (sweet and sour chicken).

Hope your week is eventful and fulfilling.


Before I go, I'll leave you with my favorite video of Shelly getting scared. Enjoy.