A Day of Rain

Sitting here to write this week's blog, and I just feel "Bleh".

I think yesterday's torrential downpour has me in a bit of a funk.

And yes, I know I lose man points when I say that I feel "Bleh". I don't even check my balance anymore.



This week was a pretty decent one, but jeez - this weekend put a really crummy cap on it when everything was said and done.

The storm started Friday night, and I don't think it officially let up until sometime Sunday morning.








It rained, it hailed, it thundered and lightninged (way too close to the house for Jade's comfort) and in essence trapped us in the house where I was unable to do many things I really wanted to do.


The yard was a swamp, and the computer stayed unplugged. I ate like crap, and walked probably 3000 steps the entire weekend.

It was just kind of a bummer.






Admittedly though, our house was unharmed, and we all had a safe place to experience our bummer of a weekend.

Everything's relative.


What is it about disaster weather that causes people to think that 1. they have to leave their house for stupid reasons - and 2. they're invulnerable.

Every time we have a flash flood, pictures inevitably pop up on facebook of people who just knew they could drive through high water and be fine.

Every time.





And it's frustrating, because it typically means that some emergency worker probably had to risk their own safety to bail this person out.




But seriously, the amount of rain we received this weekend was bug nuts crazy.

(not my picture)

This week we had Jaxon's first band concert (minus the one where he and his entire class played recorders - which my brain is still actively trying to repress). He's playing the drums now, and the songs are MUCH more entertaining.














It's kind of strange hearing songs played in a junior high band concert that I've actually really enjoyed at different parts of my life. When 'Seven Nation Army' by the White Stripes came in, I have to say it caught me off guard.









Unfortunately, they always have the younger kids go first, so after Jaxon's group played their two songs, we still had well over half of the concert left to endure enjoy.











I went to a training for work this week to become an LPC supervisor. I have to go again next Friday, but after that - I'll be able to supervise folks trying to get their license to be a counselor.

That's a pretty exciting prospect.

Sometimes, I think our profession gets a bad rep, mostly because people bring their own baggage into the office with them. This will give me an opportunity to do my part to the field, helping people learn how to counsel and not advise.

I've only been working behavioral health since 2008, but due to my hours spent in community mental health, I think I have a lot of practical experience that
could help others just getting their legs beneath them.


Either way, it has me eager.









Also, every time I leave the office, I put a sign on my door telling people that I'll be out and who they can contact for behavioral health related needs. I always put a little note at the bottom about alternate ways to request help - but I think nobody ever reads that part.












I can always hear my mother's voice in the back of my head saying "You know you're not as funny as you think you are..." - but it hasn't stopped me yet.

And btw, I think I'm hilarious.













Some women came by urgent care this week to take a picture of those of us that work there.

While I initially assumed they were there for the first photo shoot in a "Men of Hastings" calendar event - I learned they were really just getting pictures of each department's staff for a bulletin board.





I don't get many pictures of my work friends, so this one is really special to me.

Though, because of the nature of staffing at urgent care - without calling people in on their days off, it's damn near impossible to get everyone who works there in one picture - so this picture is not entirely indicative of all of my work buddies. It's still missing some pretty awesome people.





I ended up missing my BJJ classes this week. Two of the three times, the teacher and his son weren't available, and the one time that I could have gone, I had something come up that caused me to miss. I'm ready to get back to it this week. It's not that I miss the exercise, I miss knowing that I have exercised.

#fatguylogic.


So, I guess that's about it for this week. We survived the storm, and while I wasn't able to work on the computer - I did a bit of sketching and brainstorming on the book I plan to work on AFTER the book I'm already working on.

I want to make a story about a kid who can't sleep.

Our kids have always struggled to fall asleep, and for a long time we used to do our own form of guided meditation. I would walk them through these weird adventure stories that they'd listen to with their eyes shut. The stories would get pretty fantastical - and the kids seemed to enjoy it.

Also, I want an opportunity to make a story with a character that's half sloth, half butterfly.


...It's my book.







But now, it's Sunday night and again, things are coming to a close. I'm about to go make lunches for the week (Greek chicken pita wraps) and to play a game with some of my friends on xbox live. Shelly is making homemade chicken and noodles, Jaxon is (you already know this) playing in his room, and Jade is doing gymnastics in the front room.

The weekend was a bit depressing, but it's over.


If nothing else, it's given me a direction to point and a list of things I know I want to accomplish this week.

Go team.

Wedding, Weeding, and Whining

This week was a doozy at work. 

While the sheer number of patients that came into the hospital looking for behavioral health wasn't too overwhelming, it was the context of their visits that wore me smooth out. 

Being a counselor in a hospital setting is a bit of a gamble every day. You never know who, or what, is going to come in asking for you. And unfortunately, since mental health still has such a stigma attached to it - I often don't see people until they've exhausted all other options (or ignored the problem) to the point that whatever it is that they need help with is staggering. 

And I hate that. I hate that people are embarrassed to come in to talk - to open up about their emotions when deep down, everyone has mental health issues from time to time. People get sad and mad. People hurt. People get scared and lonely. It's just part of what we do... 

...but yet, it's talked about so infrequently that so many people think they're broken when they have these feelings. 

I made the comment one day to my friend Sam (a nurse in urgent care) that when someone checks into the ER and their presenting problem says "Personal", it means they either need to talk to a counselor - or something is wrong with their genitals. 

Or both. 

We're funny creatures, pretending like we aren't all made of the same stuff. Pretending like the weird, scary, and gross things we go through don't exist. 

It'd be interesting to see what life would be like if we didn't get embarrassed for being human. If we dealt with depression, anxiety, and anger openly and quickly. 

...If we weren't afraid for people to see our "behind the scenes" side from time to time. 

And we're all guilty of it, I'm no different. We all have little things that we keep secret, praying nobody sees that part of us. For some, it's emotional problems. For others, it's physical things. 

You know, I've been married four years this June and I still haven't heard Shelly fart. 

Isn't that nuts?! 

Shelly, I know you fart. 

Everyone farts. 

... Sorry, I got sidetracked. 

Anyways, suffice it to say this week was mentally exhausting around the hospital. Thankfully, I've got some REALLY great coworkers to vent to and commiserate with from time to time - which makes the experience a lot more manageable. 

Outside of work, Jade had a track meet on Thursday. She did really great. I think her absolute lack of body fat helps her to be super fast. She ended up getting 1st place in the 100 yard dash, 1st place in the 400 yard relay, 3rd place in the 800 yard relay, and 2nd place in the mile relay. 

Shelly got to take off of work to go watch and cheer her on. 

Sometimes, I feel like I end up posting about Jade more here than I do about Jaxon. And honestly, it's not for lack of trying. 

I posted on facebook earlier this week, asking for parenting advice with Jaxon. His hormones have made him nearly as unpredictable as the weather - and unfortunately, I see much less of him than I used to. 

He used to be around, all the time. Now, he prefers to spend nearly every free second in his room either playing xbox, watching other people play xbox on Youtube, or just spending time by himself. 

I had mentally prepared myself for this separation to happen around the age of 13, but it seems to have come a bit early. 

He's still such an amazing kid, and when he wants to spend time together (especially 1 on 1), he's absolutely hilarious. It's just, he's got different interests than he used to. 

It's true what they say about cherishing the times when your kid is bugging the bejeezus out of you, because those times definitely are short lived. 

Friday night, we braved the monsoon to drive out to Shelly's parents' house so I could see her dad's new puppy. His last dog got hit by a car, and it's taken a little while for him to get a new one. 

Now that he has it though, he has all the help he could ever need taking care of and playing with it thanks to Jaxon and Jade. 

It's amazing, isn't it? How willing kids are to help when the prospect of playing with a puppy is on the table...

The new dog (Penny) is a collie mix, and while the only time I've seen her was groggy, right after she got fixed, she's adorable. 

For the rest of the night, we stayed around the house. 

We got pizza for dinner and all found things to keep us busy (see the video I posted on the blog's fb page for the "workout" Jade and I came up with). 

I've been working my way through Stephen King's 'IT', and I have a group of guys that I like to play video games with from time to time. 

Jaxon hung out by himself, playing xbox with his friends. 

Jade talked Shelly into helping her film a "makeup tutorial" video. 

We let Jade make her own Youtube account a while back, and while she hasn't posted every video she's filmed - she plans to start to slowly fill it with "how to" and "challenge" videos. 

She's made a lot of glue/borax slime, and done a lot of gymnastics in the front room, trying to talk while upside down. I think so far, the majority of her audience is a couple of her little friends (we keep an eye on this), but she seems to be enjoying herself. 

Saturday, I went to my third jiu jitsu class of the week. 

I swear, every time I go, they find a new muscle for me to use - and I end up hurting for the next two days. Admittedly, they're muscles I should be using already (this weekend it was abs), but I just keep waiting for a class where I don't leave with the knowledge that I'm going to be sore the day after. 

That afternoon, we had a wedding to attend. 

I think it's pretty well established at this point, but sometimes it's funny how hard explaining connections can be. 

The wedding was for the kids' cousin, Jesse. She's a really sweet girl, who was marrying a guy that she's been with for some time. Shelly still loves Jesse, and the kids wanted to go - so we all packed up and headed that way. 

At my jiu jitsu class Saturday afternoon, when I told them I had to leave a little early though, it made my brain hurt for a minute. 

Instead of saying "I'm going to the wedding for my wife's ex husband's niece who was raised like his sister", I said "Our cousin is getting married." 

I guess, all things considered though, I like the way our family has turned out. 

Sure, it's complicated sometimes - and we've had our fair share of bumps and frustrations due to splitting the kids between two different families - but for the most part, everyone has played well together. So, when we do go to things like the wedding for my wife's ex husband's niece who was raised like a sister to him - everyone gets along, and we all do have a good time. 

I think honestly, life is less about making a perfect lineup of characters than it is about valuing the ones who end up in your show anyways. 

Some are going to be frustrating as hell along the way, but if you give them the benefit of the doubt (or if nothing else, an occasional wide berth), you bypass a lot of arguing, stress, and anger. 

Did I plan on marrying someone whose ex husband would play such a large part in my story? No. 

However, I do appreciate that he and his family have never been anything but nice to me - and that we all interact pleasantly which makes things incrementally easier on the kids. 

The wedding went off without a hitch, the kids went home with their dad, and I rented the new Justice League movie. 

Sunday, the kids spent the first half of the day with their dad, and Shelly and I decided to re-do the flower bed. The black material we put down last summer was apparently pretty flimsy - so weeds had grown up through it quickly, and we got tired of picking them as we found them. 

... or letting them accumulate and griping about it enough that one of us actually did something about it. 

So, we weeded the bed, put down new material, and now I need to go to the store sometime this week to get new black mulch.

The weekend is coming to a close, and now we've all set about our usual Sunday night routines:

I prepped my lunches for the week. 

Mexican chicken soup again, if you're curious. 

Jade is making slime at the dinner table behind me. 

Shelly's ironing in the bedroom working her way through Breaking Bad a second time. 

And Jaxon, Jaxon is working his way back and forth between the three of us asking us how our days have been, interacting with us in a loving way, and being sincerely interested in the tasks that we've all set out to do. 

... I mean, he's playing xbox in his room. 

Here in a little bit, Jade wants to film a new "drawing challenge" video with me, and other than that - I think that puts a cap on our week/weekend. 

Hope yours was an eventful one. 

See you next week. 

The Podcast

Ok, so I've had a night's sleep to recuperate from the weekend.

Honestly, that one took it out of me.


If you didn't see it on the blog's facebook page, I wanted to tell you about the podcast I got to take part in.

While I felt much less profound than many of their other guests, I did get to talk about being a step dad, a therapist, working in the hospital, and my comics and books.

It was a lot of fun staying up late and visiting with these guys, and I would highly encourage checking them out!



That said, make sure to 'like' the blog's facebook page for regular updates and things you won't always find here:

https://www.facebook.com/steppastnormal/

Easter

What a busy and exhausting weekend it's been.

Friday night we met my parents in Tulsa for dinner at Hu Hot and they gave the kids their Easter gifts. They're about to start the process of moving out of their house in Bartlesville and into a house in Sand Springs.

It's going to be really great having them closer, even if it's still an hour away - and my step dad will be MUCH closer to his job, so he won't have two hours of driving every day.

To hear him talk about what he'll do with his extra time, he sounds like Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly in Step Brothers.

"There's so much more time for activities!"

After gorging ourselves on all you can eat Mongolian barbecue, we spent a few minutes at Vintage Stock and then headed back home. We had to be up early the next day.


Bright and early Saturday morning, we took part in the Grand View Bull Run at the kids' school. It was a 5k/fun run put on to help the school's special olympics program.

There were over a hundred people there, and we got some super bright yellow shirts out of the deal.

Jaxon had decided that he would do the 5k (his first), while Jade, Shelly, and I all opted for the fun run.

I still swear that's an oxymoron.

Either way, we jogged/walked a mile while Jade and her friend picked up Easter eggs along the side of the road.

We finished out part quickly and returned to the start to cheer for Jaxon - who finished at 34:10.

Super proud of that kid.

Also, the guy who came in first - he came in at 17:17. Then, he turned around and ran it again while others were still going.

It was like the end of The Incredibles where Dash was trying to compete against regular kids. I'm not saying that guy had super powers, but I'm not saying he didn't, either.







That afternoon I had both Krav Maga and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes back to back. I thought I knew what I was in for.

I didn't.

Half way through, I ended up hurting my leg. I still don't know the name of the muscle. I've just been referring to it as my "butt-thigh junction". Whatever it's called, when I went to throw one of the guys in the class, I held my leg wrong (extended) and dropped his body weight on my leg. It pulled that spot and for like five minutes I couldn't stand up.





Thankfully, my friend who lives at the house I'm taking classes at is a doctor - so I had him looking at it, pushing on the spot trying to diagnose the issue within 2 minutes.

Pain's a funny thing though, isn't it?

I've always had a pretty high tolerance for the stuff (I still brag that I was shot in grad school and didn't miss a single day of class), but it's such a subjective concept that when you act like you're hurt, people never know exactly what you're going through.

While the guys teaching the class acted very sincere and caring, I had to wonder if they thought I was feigning hurt to get a breather. It happened one hour into our two hour session, and while I did continue, I was certainly impeded.

Still, stellar guys - and I have learned so much so far already - which is turning out to be a roller coaster experience for Shelly. On one hand, she's happy for me. On the other hand, she now dreads hearing "Let me show you what I learned tonight!"

Saturday night (while I should have been home resting up), I met a friend for dinner at a restaurant in town and got to catch up, which was really nice.





Today was Easter, and our family is one that really loves their traditions.






Last night, Shelly and I had put together our annual Easter Scavenger Hunt. We hide clues throughout the house written to rhyme, and then the kids hunt their way to their Easter baskets.













It's a blast making the clues, because I really like coming up with silly rhymes - and I think they get a lot of enjoyment out of it.













And if they don't, they don't gripe - because they typically end up with a basket full of candy.






Seriously, they made out like bandits this year.

Between my parents, Shelly's parents, us, and their dad - they have enough candy to ruin every single tooth in their heads. It's going to be quite a chore doling this candy out over the next few weeks so they don't make themselves sick/explode.






This evening, we had Easter dinner with Shelly's dad's family, and then went to Nonna's house so the kids could do their second scavenger hunt of the day.












I'm not going to lie - while I talk about the kids doing so well this year getting a lot of candy - I do have to admit that I got an Easter basket from both Shelly AND her mom.


So, yeah - I do alright.





All in all, it was a very eventful AND fun weekend, but now I'm spent. My body hurts, my butt-thigh junction is achey, and my allergies are acting up. I've prepped my lunches for the week, and I think I'm going to call it an early night.

I had so much more that I wanted to say here, but here we are.










I hope your Easter weekend was a great one, and I'll be back soon.

For now, enjoy your Sunday night and time with those you love.

"One, two, three, Jiu, Jit, Su!"

I've exercised and then not exercised enough in my life that the way my body felt this week shouldn't have come as a surprise.

...but it did.

This week I started both Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes AND Krav Maga classes from the brother of a friend who recently moved to Tahlequah.

One of the doctors that I work with is from Venezuela. His brother, who lived there until just recently, is a black belt in bjj. He asked around work if anyone was interested in taking classes, and I signed up.

I've got two friends who compete in the sport regularly, so I figured I'd take part and then if nothing else, we'd have something to talk about.

What I wasn't prepared for however, is how stiff my joints have gotten in the last year (since Shelly and I quit yoga) - and how big my belly has gotten.

Our first class was an hour and a half, and while I felt like I held my own while there - the next day, I thought my body was going to fall apart.

You know the muscle on the inside of your thigh? I've since been told it's called the "adductor"?

Is that right?

Well, whatever it's called, that muscle was exhausted!

That muscle in my body has never been exhausted.


...That's a strange muscle to have exhausted.





When the dust settled however, the first week of classes went by pretty smoothly. I eventually got over my soreness, and I'm already pretty excited about week two.







On the topic of soreness, Jade hurt her knee while tumbling this week. Or, at least, we assume that's what it was from. She began complaining about her knee being sore for a couple of days, so when Shelly took her to urgent care, we weren't surprised to hear that she needs to take a little time off.



Unfortunately for Jade, she's the one person in the house what "Take some time off" is actually more of a punishment than a reward.











As I type this, she's sitting on the floor in the front room where she typically dances/does gymnastics - playing with play-doh and watching young cheerleaders on Netflix.







Wednesday, I did my interview for the podcast with Misty and Randy of We Are the Revelers. The episode isn't up yet, but the interview itself was a blast. As we both have kids that needed to be in bed for things to run smoothly, we didn't get started until 10:30 at night, and it was such a natural, fun conversation that I'm very excited to see how it all turns out.

Aside from the martial arts classes this week, I've been making an active effort to take better care of myself.

Earlier this week, I went out with the kids to shoot baskets in the driveway - something we haven't done for what seems like ages.







After a game of PIGGY (Initially "PIG", but Jaxon didn't like losing before Jade), Jade got her sidewalk chalk out and we decorated the driveway.









Friday we had a training for work out at Camp Egan (a camp I've only been to before as a camper or camp counselor). It was a gorgeous day out, and nice to have a creek close by for our lunch break. I got to visit with coworkers I don't get to see as often as I'd like - and even won a bluetooth speaker in an afternoon drawing.


(I forgot to take pictures while there, so I had to google this picture of the top of Egan's hill)





I know I sound like a broken record sometimes, but I truly love working for the Cherokee Nation. I pour my heart into my job, and it's so nice working for a Nation and a department where I actually feel taken care of. The job has its headaches, and more than a few times I've found myself flustered at frustrating situations - but at the end of the day, I feel so lucky and so blessed to have ended up where I'm at.



Saturday we had a good friend come into town from Ada, so we took him out to Sam n Ella's for pizza.

It's such an interesting question - Where do you take someone for dinner in your town when they've never been there before, and more than likely won't be back anytime soon?

For us, pizza is always a favorite - and Sam n Ella's has some of the best pizza in the state.


Seriously, I'll fight you if you disagree.



Ignore the first part of this blog, and give me  a few weeks.




Sunday finds us prepping for the upcoming week. I've got the makings of Greek chicken wraps already boxed up in the fridge. Shelly is doing laundry and watching Friends on Netflix for the thousandth time. Jade's binge watching her cheer show. Jaxon has yet again sealed himself in his room to play xbox with his online friends.

They're all kids.

I've checked.

I do however foresee a time in the not-too-distant future where I'll be in the market for a human-sized crowbar.

Honestly, that kid lives in his room right now. I don't see that getting better when we start adding the word "teen" to the end of his age.


Not today, though.

... Until next time.

Hotel Nonna

What a week it's been.

I think every family has their bad years. For ours, it was 2014.

That year, it seemed like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. It was harrowing, exhausting, and ultimately brought us closer together as a family.

Simply put, it was a hellacious 365 days.

Recently, 2017 has started doing short little impressions of 2014. And while the impressions are accurate, they're not as cute as 2017 seems to think.

Appliances have broken, things have gone wrong in the house, family members have taken turns getting sick and recovering - it's been an experience.

(No joke, as I typed that line, Turk hurled on the floor ten feet to my left.)

This week, we had some work done in the house which required us to vacate for 24 hours. And by us, I mean everyone - humans AND cats.

Thankfully, Shelly's parents live in town, and were more than happy to put us up for the night.

The trick was though, that we had to actually get the cats there. Preferably alive.

Wednesday morning, we woke up early, wrangled them into their respective crates, and Shelly ran them out before work after taking the kids to school. I wasn't there for it, but I hear the ride was quite eventful.

Well, eventful and loud.

Apparently the cats meowed/yowled the entire way.


They REALLY hate those crates.





As a happy coincidence though, Wednesday was also the day that my friend Janie from work brought the personalized stress spinners she and her husband had 3D printed for us.

Perfect timing.

The evening was actually quite fun. We rented Hacksaw Ridge and watched it with Shelly's parents. We played "Pit", a card game our family loves. We even got the "Hotel Nonna" treatment, complete with personal packs of candy on everyone's pillows - everyone getting their favorite kinds.





The morning after, however, was a different story.

After the kids went off to school, Shelly and I started the process of shipping the cats home again.

In our infinite wisdom, we thought that maybe the cats didn't enjoy their trip out the first time because of the crates - and that if they were allowed to travel in the back seat that they would be much calmer about the idea.

We were wrong.

I took Turk and Jaxon's cat Batman in my car, while Shelly took Jade's cat Princess in hers.

I'll let you be the judge of how much calmer the non-crate trip was:

After that, the week was pretty easy.

Tahlequah had their yearly free day at the dump, so we loaded up Shelly's dad's truck with a garage full of things we had accumulated and then waited in line for an hour to dump it for free.







Seriously, there were SO many people taking their trash to the dump.








The kids got new bikes this week, so of course we had to take them out for a test ride.

I swear though, I remember riding bikes being much easier when I was a kid - and I'm not entirely referring to the fact that I'm pudgy now.

I think somewhere along the way, I forgot how exactly to shift a bike correctly. I can't ever find the right combination of numbers on the left/right sides of my handlebars, and it really makes the ride quite frustrating.

Going uphill is exhausting, and going downhill ends with my pedals doing nothing. I try to shift down when things get hard, like you would in a car - but damn if that doesn't feel counter-intuitive and make my legs feel like they're going to explode.

Inside, I swear I'm already 60. I find myself thinking "I should have just gone for my usual walk." every time I ride the dang thing.

That said, I do love my walks though.






In addition to a new bike this week, Jaxon also got a new mattress. And Jade (who we often joke exhibits "cat-like" behaviors) was fascinated by the huge empty box that it came in.


Unfortunately, my picture of Jade in-box turned out too blurry, so all I have to document the experience is a picture of Shelly messing with her.





Or, I've made up an elaborate story about Jade being transfixed by the box because secretly my wife is obsessed with box interiors and has to photograph them whenever the opportunity presents itself.

But no, if the two story options are Shelly being strange or Jade being strange - it's always going to be an easy guess.



The weekend ended things quite nicely.

We got a lot of work done in the yard on Saturday before the rain came in this morning, and I prepped my meals for the week - crock pot chicken chili with EXTRA tomatoes (the family doesn't like tomatoes in their chili, so when I make it for myself I get a little carried away).







This week has a couple of exciting events coming up. Monday I have my first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class at a friend's house (his brother is a black belt and just moved here from Venezuela) - and Wednesday I have the podcast with We Are The Revelers.

I'm super eager for both.


The podcast will be a blast to record, because I hear the couple that does them is very funny - and the martial arts class will be awesome, because it's something I've wanted to do for a very long time, having two friends who already to BJJ, but live too far away for me to join them in their classes.

Admittedly, I will need to eat a little bit of humble pie for taking this class, though.

I've referred to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as "karate wrestling" for some time now, trying to frustrate my friends. Now that I'm actually taking part myself, they'll probably have a few well-natured jokes to send back my way.

They better be well-natured jokes. I'm limber and have a low center of gravity.

I expect to take to these lessons like a fish to water.