While the sheer number of patients that came into the hospital looking for behavioral health wasn't too overwhelming, it was the context of their visits that wore me smooth out.
Being a counselor in a hospital setting is a bit of a gamble every day. You never know who, or what, is going to come in asking for you. And unfortunately, since mental health still has such a stigma attached to it - I often don't see people until they've exhausted all other options (or ignored the problem) to the point that whatever it is that they need help with is staggering.
And I hate that. I hate that people are embarrassed to come in to talk - to open up about their emotions when deep down, everyone has mental health issues from time to time. People get sad and mad. People hurt. People get scared and lonely. It's just part of what we do...
...but yet, it's talked about so infrequently that so many people think they're broken when they have these feelings.
I made the comment one day to my friend Sam (a nurse in urgent care) that when someone checks into the ER and their presenting problem says "Personal", it means they either need to talk to a counselor - or something is wrong with their genitals.
Or both.
We're funny creatures, pretending like we aren't all made of the same stuff. Pretending like the weird, scary, and gross things we go through don't exist.
It'd be interesting to see what life would be like if we didn't get embarrassed for being human. If we dealt with depression, anxiety, and anger openly and quickly.
...If we weren't afraid for people to see our "behind the scenes" side from time to time.
And we're all guilty of it, I'm no different. We all have little things that we keep secret, praying nobody sees that part of us. For some, it's emotional problems. For others, it's physical things.
You know, I've been married four years this June and I still haven't heard Shelly fart.
Isn't that nuts?!
Shelly, I know you fart.
Everyone farts.
... Sorry, I got sidetracked.
Anyways, suffice it to say this week was mentally exhausting around the hospital. Thankfully, I've got some REALLY great coworkers to vent to and commiserate with from time to time - which makes the experience a lot more manageable.
Shelly got to take off of work to go watch and cheer her on.
Sometimes, I feel like I end up posting about Jade more here than I do about Jaxon. And honestly, it's not for lack of trying.
I posted on facebook earlier this week, asking for parenting advice with Jaxon. His hormones have made him nearly as unpredictable as the weather - and unfortunately, I see much less of him than I used to.
He used to be around, all the time. Now, he prefers to spend nearly every free second in his room either playing xbox, watching other people play xbox on Youtube, or just spending time by himself.
I had mentally prepared myself for this separation to happen around the age of 13, but it seems to have come a bit early.
He's still such an amazing kid, and when he wants to spend time together (especially 1 on 1), he's absolutely hilarious. It's just, he's got different interests than he used to.
It's true what they say about cherishing the times when your kid is bugging the bejeezus out of you, because those times definitely are short lived.
Now that he has it though, he has all the help he could ever need taking care of and playing with it thanks to Jaxon and Jade.
It's amazing, isn't it? How willing kids are to help when the prospect of playing with a puppy is on the table...
For the rest of the night, we stayed around the house.
We got pizza for dinner and all found things to keep us busy (see the video I posted on the blog's fb page for the "workout" Jade and I came up with).
I've been working my way through Stephen King's 'IT', and I have a group of guys that I like to play video games with from time to time.
Jaxon hung out by himself, playing xbox with his friends.
Jade talked Shelly into helping her film a "makeup tutorial" video.
We let Jade make her own Youtube account a while back, and while she hasn't posted every video she's filmed - she plans to start to slowly fill it with "how to" and "challenge" videos.
She's made a lot of glue/borax slime, and done a lot of gymnastics in the front room, trying to talk while upside down. I think so far, the majority of her audience is a couple of her little friends (we keep an eye on this), but she seems to be enjoying herself.
Saturday, I went to my third jiu jitsu class of the week.
I swear, every time I go, they find a new muscle for me to use - and I end up hurting for the next two days. Admittedly, they're muscles I should be using already (this weekend it was abs), but I just keep waiting for a class where I don't leave with the knowledge that I'm going to be sore the day after.
That afternoon, we had a wedding to attend.
I think it's pretty well established at this point, but sometimes it's funny how hard explaining connections can be.
The wedding was for the kids' cousin, Jesse. She's a really sweet girl, who was marrying a guy that she's been with for some time. Shelly still loves Jesse, and the kids wanted to go - so we all packed up and headed that way.
At my jiu jitsu class Saturday afternoon, when I told them I had to leave a little early though, it made my brain hurt for a minute.
Instead of saying "I'm going to the wedding for my wife's ex husband's niece who was raised like his sister", I said "Our cousin is getting married."
I guess, all things considered though, I like the way our family has turned out.
Sure, it's complicated sometimes - and we've had our fair share of bumps and frustrations due to splitting the kids between two different families - but for the most part, everyone has played well together. So, when we do go to things like the wedding for my wife's ex husband's niece who was raised like a sister to him - everyone gets along, and we all do have a good time.
I think honestly, life is less about making a perfect lineup of characters than it is about valuing the ones who end up in your show anyways.
Some are going to be frustrating as hell along the way, but if you give them the benefit of the doubt (or if nothing else, an occasional wide berth), you bypass a lot of arguing, stress, and anger.
Did I plan on marrying someone whose ex husband would play such a large part in my story? No.
The wedding went off without a hitch, the kids went home with their dad, and I rented the new Justice League movie.
Sunday, the kids spent the first half of the day with their dad, and Shelly and I decided to re-do the flower bed. The black material we put down last summer was apparently pretty flimsy - so weeds had grown up through it quickly, and we got tired of picking them as we found them.
... or letting them accumulate and griping about it enough that one of us actually did something about it.
The weekend is coming to a close, and now we've all set about our usual Sunday night routines:
I prepped my lunches for the week.
Mexican chicken soup again, if you're curious.
Jade is making slime at the dinner table behind me.
Shelly's ironing in the bedroom working her way through Breaking Bad a second time.
And Jaxon, Jaxon is working his way back and forth between the three of us asking us how our days have been, interacting with us in a loving way, and being sincerely interested in the tasks that we've all set out to do.
... I mean, he's playing xbox in his room.
Here in a little bit, Jade wants to film a new "drawing challenge" video with me, and other than that - I think that puts a cap on our week/weekend.
Hope yours was an eventful one.
See you next week.
No comments:
Post a Comment